Your Roving Eyes

Thursday, September 2, 2010

This week, Little Red Book reader, Cher, shared a story with us concerning an unsuccessful date. She says her date ended up flirting with and checking out other ladies that evening. Respondents say they see both sides of her story.

“That was pretty rude of the guy. Serves him right that you dumped him.” – Mike

“Cher- sounds to me like it could have gone one of two ways. Either he was genuinely trying to hook up his buddy and you weren’t wing manning for him, or he just wasn’t that interested out the gate. I am going with he didn’t do the five date thing and invite you out because he wasn’t that interested. That being said maybe next time you can get into it and ask him what kind of girl he is trying to find for his friend so you can help. All that good stuff, then again, maybe he was just that big of an ass.” – Will

Since when should anyone wingman it on a date? That’s a job for friends, not those who are newly dating each other.

“… There are probably three things that need to be considered before you go shishkabobing your date: 1) location, 2) duration and 3) your own behavior. Location means is it the appropriate place to do so. A big difference exists between a romantic evening at a quiet restaurant and partying at a crowded roof deck—or the Miss America pageant. The crowd is there for a reason, and it’s so everybody can look at each other. Second, checking out someone for a few seconds is not the same as trading glances multiple times in a visual joust. If a man wears a Speedo, do you not stare? Same thing with men and revealing attire.  Thirdly, don’t get mad at someone for checking out others if you’re doing it too—many are without even noticing. With all these things discussed, I’d just like to say my eye never roams. Because I’m a manly man.” – Neal

Sadly, every guy I’ve ever seen wearing a Speedo has been out of shape and/or super hairy, so if I’ve stared, it’s been from utter shock (with the exception of Olympian Michael Phelps and Ben Stiller in Meet the Fockers—check out the pool scene).

Secondly (and I’m playing devil’s advocate), Cher did not mention anything about staring at other guys. Your third point about “your own behavior,” while valid in certain situations, does not hold weight in this case, Neal, but glad to hear that your “eye never roams!” (Wink.)

“…I must admit, I too am guilty of noticing other women while in the presence of my own beautiful wife. Every red-blooded male cannot help but notice hot women around them. It’s the way they go about it that defines the kind of person they are. In my case, there is no way it is done in a lustful or gawking manner like that airport guy…to Cher’s story, that guy just sounds like a real dick who probably realized he wasn’t going to get out of the date what he intended a few days earlier. So he used the oldest trick in the book, he literally moved on to a “sure thing” before your date even ended. Sad.” – Married Man

“The whole “boys will be boys” is regularly used as an excuse and rationalizes questionable behavior—particularly among men. Yes, it is human nature to notice the opposite sex (as well as the same sex in some cases), however, use discretion and show respect.” – Amy

While one can certainly appreciate beauty and good looks in others, just make sure to keep your gawking at a minimum out of respect for the other person….or consider wearing sunglasses.

Thanks for sharing your story, Cher. Keep them coming. Share your responses and/or stories, readers, at littleredbook@northernvirginiamag.com.

–Katie