Night Fouls
Children’s disruptive sleep patterns can be the real monsters lurking about the bed
By Renee Sklarew
Your child’s sleep problems become your sleep problems. Almost all parents, at some point, complain about their child’s difficult nighttime habits and the resulting loss of slumber.
“I have two kids. When they were 2 and 3 years old, they did not want to sleep in their own beds. They had no history of sleeping with us,” remembers Kathy Webster of Vienna. “First, I made them sleep on the floor in our room, then outside our door, then in the hall next to their room, then next to their beds. People kept wondering why there was a toddler mattress in the hallway.
“Next, it was wetting their beds and waking me up,” Webster says. “Eventually, I taught them to put a towel down, change their jammies and not bother me.”
Sleep deprivation affects a person’s performance in school, home and in the workplace. The National Center on Sleep Disorders Research, a division of the National Institutes of Health in Maryland, describes sleep as a time when the body rests and restores its energy levels, and states that sleep deprivation affects both physical and mental health.
Joyce Alexis of Vienna has been wrestling with her 7-year-old son’s nighttime troubles for some time now: “He recently developed a fear of the dark after his friend told him a story about a demon on YouTube. It’s been going on for two months. Now our son comes into the room every night and gets into our bed. We take him back, and he starts screaming and crying. Then he comes right back.”
Irrational fears and nightmares are common nocturnal problems—causing children to wake up feeling frightened and anxious. Dr. Russell C. Libby, of the Virginia Pediatric Group, explains nightmares usually reflect certain stressful experiences the child has had during the day. “Most children wake up looking for consolation. They are usually lucid enough to tell you what happened,” says Libby. “In extreme cases, nightmares may be related to a traumatic event, such as witnessing injury to a pet or person. They will generally fade away over time.”
Libby continues, “Older children waking and coming into the parents’ bedroom, is usually a result of patterns developed in the toddler and preschool years. These ongoing patterns are hard to break.”
He advises parents to first take steps to identify whether there is an issue of anxiety or problems at school, then talk frankly with the child about how it is time to sleep in his bed and stay there for the night.
“Give them encouragement,” Libby says. “Tell children to call for parents only if they really need them. Offer them comfort items, like a photo of Mom or a teddy bear. Parents can even lock their door—it’s remarkable how often kids come to terms with that.”
Libby says he believes some nighttime issues are the result of children seeking more interaction with their parents. Parents can end up reinforcing that behavior by giving their children the attention they crave at night. He recommends creating more parent-child time during the day.
Many parents, like Webster, can develop their own tailored methods that halt nighttime problems. With advice from experts like Libby, effective bedtime routines and consistent training, your child will learn to better pass the night—ensuring you do, too.
Change in Hours of Daytime and Nighttime Sleep with Increasing Age
Jasen Dowell
Pillow Talk: Youth sleep facts
While nightmares can happen at any age, sleep terrors occur in children ages 3 to 8 years old. Both are exacerbated by stress.The most frequent sleep disorders are night awakenings and bedtime resistance.
“Children with trouble sleeping, fear of the dark, nightmares or other sleeping problems are often reactions to stress and may indicate abuse.” —Virginia Department of Health
“Children with sleep disorders face risks of intellectual impairment similar to lead exposure. Sleep disorders can be intellectually and behaviorally detrimental to children because they interrupt the deep sleep patterns needed for healthy development.” —University of Virginia Sleep Laboratory, University of Virginia Health System
“Children of elementary school age report they have sleep difficulties more often than their parents report such problems.” —Journal of Child Development
“Treatment of sleep problems may prevent children from developing depression.” —SLEEP journal
“Adolescents with post-midnight bedtimes are 25 percent more likely to suffer from depression than those with parent-mandated bedtimes of 10 p.m. or earlier.” —American Academy of Sleep Medicine and Columbia University
(March 2010)