McDonald’s Apologizes for Terrible Coffee

Posted by The Editorial Desk / Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

You know who has terrible coffee? McDonald’s.

The drip coffee tastes like a half-smoked cigarette, and the frozen slurry feels like getting punched in the mouth with sugar. It’s basically The Worst Coffee, and McDonald’s knows it, as the fast food behemoth apologized to the entire population of Australia for subjecting them to its certifiably awful coffee.

According to The Australian (which boasts an awesome picture), McDonald’s will launch an advertising blitz down under to try to coax coffee drinkers back to their McCafe chain by promising higher quality beans and baristas who know what they’re doing (insert dismissive scoff).

McDonald’s Australia chief operating officer Helen Nash had this to say to the newspaper: “Australians have a very sophisticated coffee palate and we were not delivering a strong enough cup of coffee.”

Marketplace has a snippet of the ad: “This cup’s for you complainers. Thanks to you we’ve changed to a richer, smoother blend.”

You know the coffee is pretty bad here too, right? Where are our empty promises of improvement, McDonald’s?

Oh, right, Americans love the stuff, so much so that it’s sent stock prices up and generated record sales boosts.

There’s just no justice.

Apologizing for your otherwise terrible product is a bit of a trend as of late, what with Dominos promising to improve their pizza (which didn’t work), and Miracle Whip and Marmite both playing up their questionable quality with cutesy, winking ads.

In other news, did you know that Australians call McDonald’s “maccas?” What on Earth?

- Kris King

Tags: advertising gimmicks, Australia, bad coffee, McDonald's, terrible things