Hurricane Chow That Isn’t Terrible

Posted by The Editorial Desk / Friday, August 26th, 2011

I used to live in D.C. and I already got a phone call this morning from PepCo telling me that they basically plan on letting everyone down this weekend. Aside from the fact that I should probably tell them that I’ve moved, that call heralds that special time of year where both our infrastructure and basic government services fail us outright, leaving us to fend for ourselves in a post-apocalyptic hellscape—at least until Monday.

So, if you’re like me and you have yet to stock up on ANYTHING other than a big bag of candy, a pile of awesome movies and a bottle of alcohol, maybe you should consider heading to the store to make sure that you aren’t stuck contracting rickets over the weekend.

For that we’re here to help. Linda Holmes over at NPR’s Monkey See blog already has you covered on what to do when the lights go out (reading a gigantic book, for instance), so we’re going to help you with what to eat. Disaster food can be pretty terrible, especially when you consider that it has to weather potential power outages and preparation constraints. So here’s a selection of things to snack on while you try not go insane from boredom.

Snacks:

Texas Caviar

Canned goods are a good bet in dire times. You can eat them cold, they’ll last forever and you don’t need to worry about keeping them refrigerated. But room temperature veggies can be pretty unappealing, so you need to get clever with them to make them palpable. One thing you can do is mix canned black beans and corn (both drained) with your salsa of choice. It doesn’t require any cooking and is an easy way to make use of your canned goods. Eat it with that bag of chips you bought.

Potato Masher Hummus

A can of chickpeas, a jar of tahini, lemon juice, garlic salt and oil is all you need to make a halfway decent hummus. Though most recipes call for a blender to mix the goodness together, it’s just as easy to grind the stuff with a mortar and pestle, a potato masher or  a fork. Because the ingredients don’t need refrigeration before you make it, it’s a safer option than just buying the stuff pre-made, which requires immediate refrigeration.

 

Dinner:

Just Eat All of the Meat You Have.

If your power goes out, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of potential spoilage. To avoid that, go ahead and cook all of the meat you have in your fridge. This is especially great if you have a gas stove and oven so you can cook well into the storm (if you have frozen meat and the power goes out, keep that in the freezer, it will be good for up to 48 hours. Once it thaws though, cook it.) Since grilling is clearly out, pan sear your steaks; fry up that bacon and roast those chickens. A nice meal of Turf n’ Turf won’t kill you. This stuff isn’t going to keep forever, so remember: gorge, gorge, gorge!

–Addendum: If you don’t have a gas oven and stove, you might want to go ahead and just all of that meat now. Might as well.

Desserts:

Eat All of the Ice Cream

Like meat, dairy does not hold up when the lights go caput, but it doesn’t keep terribly well in a cooler like meat does either. Solution? Just stop what you’re doing and eat it right now. If you delay and you find that your ice cream is getting soft, make a milkshake using a cocktail shaker and your no doubt soon to be spoiled milk.

S’mores

The old camping classic rears its head around when the lights go out. Graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallows and fire is all you need for this simple treat.

Booze:

Cellar or Room Temperature Beers

Stocking up on water is always a good idea in emergency situations, so it’s always a good idea to keep a whole bunch of water on hand to maintain cleanliness and keep you hydrated. After you have that stocked up, go ahead and ignore it in favor of some beers that maintain a good flavor at higher temperatures.

Cooler space is important when keeping food fresh, so you’re not going to want to waste space on keeping beers cold. The last thing you should grab while you’re shopping is a case of watery domestics. Those things need to be served as cold as possible to hide their unfortunate flavors. Even if you opt for nicer brews, some stuff just won’t taste right if it’s not cold enough. Avoid lagers, pilsners, and hefeweizens in favor of richer beers whose flavors benefit from heightened temperatures. Things like English ales, porters, Bocks, Scoth Ale and IPAs taste best at cellar temperatures (54-57 degrees), while brews with higher alcohol content like Barley Wine, Quadrupels, Imperial Stouts, Imperial IPAs and Doppelbocks taste fine right at room temperature.

You could also drink a nice bottle of red wine too.

Hope this helps! Don’t die!

- Kris King

Tags: another day another apocalypse, boredom, Emergency Preparedness (Sort of), excuses to drink, getting crafty, Gut Check, Hurricane Irene, Kris King, Northern Virginia Magazine, PANIC!!!!, some of these articles are actually suggesting Spam