Posted by Katerina Patin / Monday, June 18th, 2012
Giving you up has become so complicated.
First it was about ethics, trying to save you from the factory farm. Then, it became about those nasty gases you cows put out and the CO2 released on my fried chicken’s journey from farm to plate. Now, it’s everything from a well-trodden stepping stone to vegan, a way to be closer to trend-setting vegetarians like Paul McCartney or Natalie Portman, to a political statement, or just a way to go with the flow of new veggie-only diets.
But I promise, this time, it’s really not you, it’s me.
Our relationship has a tumultuous past, and you’re definitely leaving me with plenty of baggage—memories of turkey leg juice dripping down my elbows in Disney World, that time at Fogo de Chao when you tempted me with your exotic cuts and steamy chunks in front of everyone, and of course the stability and comfort I found in biting into you between two buns with lettuce, tomato and cheese in between.
But I’ve made my decision that it’s time we go our separate ways. Maybe another time, or another place but right now in my life I need some space to challenge myself, to trim down before my big move to the Big Apple.
However, I’m not one to rip off the band aid. We’ll do this slowly, together. Each week I’ll say goodbye to a part of you. First, to the parts I never really liked that much anyways like your porkier sides and your lamb-like meekness. As the weeks go by, it’ll get harder to say goodbye to your quaky-quirks, or light and dark turkey qualities that go so well with gravy. But the worst is in the end, when I must say so long to my favorite flirty fowl and farewell to the burly core of our relationship: beef.
As the weeks progress, don’t be like that girl in “The Notebook;” read my letters. This may not be a final auf wiedersehen. A plot-twisting reunion maybe in store for us, but for now adieu to yieu, yieu and yieu.
P.S. I’d appreciate it if you stopped wafting those lingering smells of BBQ through my window.
A Meaty Break Up is a weekly chronicle of Katerina Patin’s journey as she cautiously goes veg.