Again, What Was He Thinking?

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Earlier this week I wrote about a really bad gift I received from a former beau, and you supplied no shortage of feedback.

Wrote reader Gary B., “ANSWER: He wasn’t thinking, only about himself!”

Colton V. said, “Nice. Was that the only gift? Talk about digging your own grave. I probably could have outdone him at the Village Pantry around the corner. He may not have been thinking about himself; he might have thought about something that would make you feel sexy. In fact, I’m betting on that. If you would have thought about it that way then you would have talked to him about it. Still, I bet this guy has a lot of inner work to do on his self and inner thought, which isn’t his fault necessarily. Thankfully there are many ways to teach men how to do just that and to teach them what women think and want. I was lucky enough to investigate and research it myself through books … so be thankful for that, ladies.”

And Pat G. dropped a line to share, “My husband, on occasion, has forgotten my birthday. For Christmases in the past, he always gave me clothing that didn’t fit and wasn’t my taste, so I now request gift certificates from him so I can do my own shopping. I’m very content with that!”

It wasn’t the only present I received from him that displeased me. Let me clarify something: I am not high-maintenance. In fact, I was the provider in that particular relationship. He wasn’t earning a lot of money at the time, and I understood that. For me, the thought put into the gift has always meant more than the dollar sign. 

But we had been dating for about a year when he gave me a purple-ribbon choker consisting of a cluster of fake pearls and faux silver studs. I was underwhelmed, because at this point he knew my taste in jewelry, including what I wore and admired on others.

This could have been really good play jewelry … for a child. I wasn’t expecting real pearls; heck, I can buy those myself! Further, he bought the choker at a rather over-marketed online shop that has a reputation for being overstocked with items. I imagine he perused the Internet at work one day and bought it quickly while his boss was taking lunch.

This is why I was disappointed: It would have meant much more to me if he had gone shopping in person or online to one of my favorite stores. Simply put, he hadn’t put much time or thought into it.

–Katie

Have you ever given or received a bad gift? Is getting a horrible gift a deal-breaker? Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever put little thought and effort into getting you a gift? I would love to hear your stories and feedback! Leave a comment or email me at littleredbook@northernvirginiamag.com.

Tags: Dating, jewelry, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, presents, relationships