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Getting Out of a Bad Date
Monday, April 12th, 2010
Chances are you’ve been on a date to nowhere—those instances where conversation, compatibility and chemistry are lackluster, and you would like to end the evening and finish your leftovers in front of the television. I’ve been there.
There’s an Irish pub conveniently located downstairs from my apartment building where I met a few former dates. On every first date, I knew immediately whether or not it would turn into a second.
One of my dates was respectful and chivalrous, but I felt zero mental and physical attraction for him. He also lacked a sense of humor, and laughter is a must for me in a relationship. I wanted to wrap up quickly, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom (phone already in pocket). I called my sister, who was several floors up in our apartment, and asked her to come down to the pub “randomly.” She placed an order to go, ran in to pick it up 15 minutes later, and right on cue I exclaimed, “Hey, there’s my sister! What is she doing here?” At which point, I introduced them and she joined us for a drink. Three’s a crowd.
I envy you if you’ve never been in this position. As for the rest of you, I’d love to hear your experiences. How creative was your excuse (i.e., fake stories that deal with emergency situations)? Or maybe you’ve been on the other side of this. In that case, what did your date say or do to call it a night?
–Katie
Tags: Dating, excuses, Irish pubs, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, lying, relationships
6 Responses
Cj Says:
April 12th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
April 12th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Katie,
What ever happened to just being honest and upfront with your date? Why all of the shenanigans? Do you really think it spares your date’s feelings? What happens if he does not perceive how you two are not clicking and leaves the date thinking there is hope for another one? Honesty is best.
Nancy Says:
April 12th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
April 12th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
EVERYBODY has been in your situation – whether they admit it or not! If they say no, they’re lying. I can empathize and understand exactly what you felt like on your date. Contrary to CJ’s view, I think you took the right path and made a wise decision. Guys can disern (but, then again, a lot of guys are oblivious and/or their egos are too big to see the truth) when girls aren’t into them. Rather than experiencing an excruciating “cocktails/dinner” date, it was probably refreshing and ended up being a lot of fun with your sister present. (Plus, I am sure the guy didn’t mind another cute girl hanging out with him.) Why stop in the middle of your Jack ‘n Diet to tell him, “Sorry dude, ain’t feelin’ it. See ya!!” That is unnecessary. Plus, I am sure you went dutch-treat, which is the cue for “this is not a date/we are only friends.”
Nancy Says:
April 12th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
April 12th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
I TOTALLY understand your situation. EVERYONE has experienced that whether they are willing to admit it or not. If not, he/she is either lying or hasn’t dated very much – if at all. I believe you made a wise and refreshing choice by inviting your sister to the bar! Guys can (or, at least they should be able to discern) when girls aren’t into them. Then again, a lot of guys are oblivious OR, as a result of their overinflated ego, they refuse to believe that a girl doesn’t like him. Why stop in the middle of your first Jack ‘n Diet and say, “Look dude, really not feelin’ it. See ya!!” Chances are high that he already knows you aren’t into him, and the remainder of the night wold just be consumed with superficial and excruciating conversation. Besides, I am sure this guy didn’t have any objections to another girl being there – especially if she is cute, which I assume she is because you’re really pretty. Lastly, the universal rule for dating, is always to “go dutch” to make a point that you are friends. I raise a glass to you, your sister, and a date. Sometimes, threesomes are necessay if siutations like these.
Cj Says:
April 15th, 2010 at 7:30 am
April 15th, 2010 at 7:30 am
I am not sure what world Nancy lives in, but people often think they are broadcasting clear signals of interest/non-interest when in actuallity it is far from clear. Just take a look at the world around us — especially in DC — and you can see how often even the most simple messages are miscommunicated and misinterpreted. Chances are the woman will think that she has clearly communicated non-interest by using such an indirect technique when in actuality, she has only muddied the situation. I still do not understand what is the big deal about being upfront and honest — is it really that hard to do?
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April 12th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I luckily have never been in this situation but I have a friend of mine who met a guy at the gym and went out to Applebees the next evening. She said that the conversation started out well but the more they talked the less they had in common. By the time the entree rolled around, they were barely talking. The guy quickly ate his food, excused himself to go to the restroom and never returned. Not only was she embarrassed after waiting 20 minutes and asking the waiter to check on him, she was angry that she was stiffed with the bill!