Bad Dates? You’ve Had ‘Em.

Several of you responded to my blog entry this week, “Getting Out of a Bad Date.” Now it’s time to tell you the ending to my story. As you may have read, my sister “just so happened” to run into me and my date at an Irish Pub (after I’d placed a phone call from the ladies’ room). Shortly afterward, my date mentioned that he had a friend who lived in the neighborhood; he called him to stop by and say hello (I think his friend was on call, too!). The four of us shared appetizers, stories and laughs the rest of the evening, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. When the bill came, we went Dutch and agreed to all hang out again.

First dates can be awkward and uncomfortable. Never underestimate the power of a group date, even if it’s an afterthought. It can decrease a lot of pressure and change the chemistry immediately. I didn’t ignore my date that evening or take advantage of him. I only tweaked the date slightly to instill more energy.

From your responses, you have experienced similar situations.

“I’ve been in D.C. long enough to have gone on a whole lot of dates that have gone nowhere. I know the drill. Was it me? Was it her? Doesn’t matter. We give it an honest try for 30 to 60 minutes, we smile, and we never see each other again. And despite such awkwardness, every once in a while you find someone great. But this one time, I had a date with a girl for a dinner and then an outdoor concert. I think we both knew there wasn’t going to be chemistry, but whatever, she was interesting enough to talk to. Then about 15 minutes into dinner, her male friend just happens to show up at the restaurant, and she invites him over to join our table. Thus proceeded an utterly humiliating half-hour dinner for three as I ate and she and the guy talked and laughed and made lame attempts to include me once in a while as if I didn’t realize what just went down. About as soon as the check arrived I snuck away pissed and left her to her dude friend. I don’t think ‘WTF’ had been invented yet, but that night was truly WTF. I still relive that terrible date.”—J.B.

A new twist, indeed, when a dude shows up. Awkward! It probably would have been more fun if a female friend had arrived instead. Keep dating, J.B.! The more you date, the more you can differentiate!

“I, luckily, have never been in this situation, but I have a friend of mine who met a guy at the gym and went out to Applebee’s the next evening. She said the conversation started out well, but the more they talked the less they had in common. By the time the entree rolled around, they were barely talking. The guy quickly ate his food, excused himself to go to the restroom and never returned. Not only was she embarrassed after waiting 20 minutes and asking the waiter to check on him, she was angry that she was stiffed with the bill!”—Ivy

A dating no-no! He should have paid for dinner, especially if he asked her out. However, a red flag appeared well before he disappeared … Applebee’s on a first date?

“A couple of years ago I met someone at the grocery store. We had seen each other a few times at the checkout. He asked me out to a party. I went, which turned out to be a waste of time because we had nothing in common. I felt stuck because I knew no one and he didn’t introduce me to anyone. I wanted to leave. He wanted to stay. So I called a cab and left. Don’t go to a party on a first date. Going out to dinner is a lot safer.”—Paris Teeter

“I’ve been on both the receiving end of this and the giving. It’s a tough situation. You don’t want to hurt their feelings, but usually when neither of you are feeling it, they’re secretly thankful you took the step to end the mutual misery.”—D.C.

“I once had a girl bring a friend on a date, and it actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise because the friend and I had better chemistry and I found her to be more mentally and physically attractive than my date. My date eventually left, and her friend and I had a great time! I guess when one door closes another opens.”—G.G.

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories—it’s comforting to learn you’re not alone out there in the dating pool!

–Katie

Tags: Applebee's, D.C., Dating, first dates, Irish pubs, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, parties, readers respond, relationships, Washington