Inconvenient Lies Convenient for Some
Thursday, July 1st, 2010
Many of you responded this week regarding my ladies’ brunch. Apparently I’m not the only one who’s been left “holding the bag.” A few of you admitted to fibbing your way out of a commitment. Below is a sampling of your responses.
“I’m a young professional who works in D.C. and admit that I’m guilty of those lame excuses from time to time. If I was M.I.A. for a work meeting or late to work and didn’t have a good reason, I’d be fired. And I could never show up late; that stuff just doesn’t fly. Maybe the answer is to look at social engagements in the same way as we do work obligations. I’m not from this area, but I’ve learned a lot about stretching the truth. Sometimes it’s worked for me, and sometimes it hasn’t. Out of curiosity, what did you serve at your brunch? Do you have leftovers?”—Guilty As Charged
“People are rude. I think most people are self-centered. Usually they just mirror their parents.”—J.M.
“I think our parents and/or grandparents would say that the classy/polite thing to do is keep commitments unless an emergency comes up, especially ones where the host has gone to an effort to get ready for it. Bailing at the last minute because [of] a lack of interest or a better alternative is a good sign of a bad friend.”—Michael
“I do agree that for some reason this area leads people into thinking that lying is OK, it won’t hurt anyone! Forget about what we were taught growing up about right and wrong, but I think if more people looked in the mirror and asked themselves, Would I want this done to me?, the answer would be totally different!”—Gary
“… It is sad, but I have become accustomed to people lying to me; therefore, in any given situation I almost expect it. … We all are aware of the multitude of events and various things to do in NoVA and D.C.; however, a lot of people will renege if they think another invite will be more exciting, a guy calls her to hang out (vice versa).”—Amy
Based upon most of the responses I received, the general consensus is to confront a person or a situation in an honest and direct way. While not necessarily easy, it’s the best way to communicate. This reminds me of a former boss of mine, but I’ll save that for another blog. In this case, Woody Allen’s quote rings true: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” In order to make and sustain lasting relationships, you have to be present.
On a side note, do you remember my recent post about elephants in the room? One loyal reader wondered whether or not he should express his feelings for someone or keep them hidden. He recently emailed me with an outcome, and I must say he let the elephant out in a creative way.
“Yesterday evening my elephant was set free. My friend and I were hanging out at my apartment early Sunday prepping for the Washington Mystics game at 4 p.m. In short, while surfing the ‘Net on my computer she clicked on your webpage from my favorites and read your blog. She thought they were some great topics. I directed her attention to the Chocolate Bunny responses. She thought they were OK and said that he had a sensitive heart. It was at that moment I hugged her and gave her a kiss. She reciprocated then laughed. I explained to her that I was Chocolate Bunny and that entry was about her. She looked at me in disbelief, smiled, blushed and hugged me very tightly. The rest of the story is history and very private.”—Chocolate Bunny
It worked out for the best. Great job, and thanks for making the blog’s web page one of your favorites! Keep us updated, and cheers to one less elephant!
Email me with your story ideas, comments, or questions at littleredbook@northernvirginiamag.com.
–Katie
Tags: brunch, Chocolate Bunny, Dating, deceit, guilt, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, relationships, Washington Mystics, Woody Allen