If you run into your ex, there are certain dos and don’ts to follow during the (awkward) conversation. For example, don’t rehash issues, lie, or brag. Do keep the conversation upbeat. Here are readers’ responses to this week’s earlier blog entry, KISS.
“Wow, he got himself a new batch of friends since the breakup? What was wrong with his other batch? It is FAR better to be single than miserably married…His core personality will remain generally intact, so if he’s disrespectful or manipulative consistently, just bank on it getting worse over time! Maybe there’s something to love being blind…Good for you for how you handled the run-in! Healing is a process, but it is also a choice. I think a lot of men stick their heads in the sand like the ostrich and pretend that whatever issue they struggle with will just go away once they are married, but that is NEVER true. Marriage is inherently NOT a problem solver.” – S.P.
“I really believe in this statement. But it takes courage, confidence, and more courage. We always fear being lonely. Don’t want to break away from our daily routines.” – George
“I have run into multiple exes over the years. Some of the meetings were fine and seemed very cordial; others were very uncomfortable and seemed somewhat malicious. The acronym “K.I.S.S.” is a very intelligent way to keep a conversation short and to the point. Too bad I didn’t implement it into all of my past run-ins. Not all of my past relationships ended badly; some just ran their course and we spilt and went our separate ways. When I’ve run into these exes, it seemed more like catching up with an old friend rather than playing the one up game. Other encounters weren’t so nice. These run-ins seemed cordial in the beginning with the typical “How are you?”, “How long has it been?” Then the one up game began, which I am not a fan of. I am proud of my accomplishments. I will not brag about what I’m doing, but if asked I will speak the truth about my life…” –Taker
I think an Ostrich burying its head in the sand is a myth but I like the analogy, SP. And the same can be true for females. People feel lonely after a break up and may fall into a habit of filling that empty bar stool, flirting their way into a random hook up (or two), or fumbling into another relationship to dash away from the pain. But they’re all rebounds in the end. If you’re suffering from Ostrich Syndrome, instead of hiding from or running away from the vulnerable state you are in, stand still until you’ve found your center.
E-mail at email@example.com.