Stuck In the Middle

Dear Little Red Book,

I need advice for my friend. She went out with this guy three times this past summer and told him it just wasn’t working out. They were friends for many years before that, and she tried to revert back to their previous relationship (just friends). Because they are both in college, they only hang out over winter and summer breaks. The guy, however, refuses to give up hope that she might go out with him again. He relentlessly tries to flirt with her and is constantly asking her out when they do hang out…She is beginning to consider just dropping him as a friend.  However, that seems to be a last resort for her and she was hoping there was some way to make him see that she just is NOT interested without being too harsh. I am friends with both sides and have been stuck into the middle of this awkward battle.  I don’t want to lose either friend, which is why I have asked you for your advice.

Help,

Stuck In the Middle (SIM)

Dear SIM,

At this point in time, it seems that your friends could use a cooling off period, especially if romantic feelings are involved. Once “friend zone” boundaries are crossed, it’s difficult to resort back to the way things used to be. If sex was involved, it’s usually improbable. Sex does change the game even for people who are in a “friends with bennys” situation since feelings are always involved. At this point in time, your job is to continue being a supportive friend to both of them. You can remove yourself from the situation by simply explaining to them that you would feel more comfortable and be a better friend if you stayed out of their business. You may listen as they vent, but don’t feel the need to add your two cents worth. It will end up being “he said, she said” drama. Over time, your friends will stop coming to you for adivice if they know you won’t provide it. Hence, their trust in you will increase. Not a bad situation to be in.

Weigh in readers by sharing your experiences, stories, and opinions below or e-mail me at littleredbook@northernvirginiamag.com.

-Katie

Tags: Dating, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, Northern Virginia, Northern Virginia Magazine, NoVA, nova mag, relationships