NVM Review

By Warren Rojas

Every so often, green hires at the venerable Vienna Inn—celebrating its 50th anniversary this year—will make the rookie mistake of dropping off menus to incoming customers.

Veteran staffers say common refrains from bemused patrons range from slightly stunned (“Oh, I didn’t even know you guys had menus”) to the matter-of-fact (“I mean, what else is there besides chili dogs?”).

What else, indeed.

Owner Marty Volk says the signature dogs—turkey franks bathed in all-beef chili, spicy mustard and chopped white onions, all for under $2—remain the lifeblood of his homey dive-cum-community hub. Volk estimates they ring up around 11,000 chili dogs per month, with dog sales spiking significantly on weekends and during football season.

Volk predicts that probably about a third of the Vienna Inn faithful stroll in solely to satisfy their lifelong chilidog habit. But those who’ve spent any amount of time in the ramshackle eatery can probably count on one hand the occasions upon which they’ve witnessed people ordering ANYTHING off the fairly expansive menu (believe it or not, the kitchen dabbles in everything from grilled pork chops to fish tacos to honey-stung chicken).

I’d bet staff could punch in a majority of orders the second most clients crack open the front door. “I haven’t seen you in forever and I still knew exactly where that was going,” one waitress chides a lifer who’s obviously fallen off the radar lately.

Servers must hear the beep-bop-bing! of the overtaxed bun warmer—a flash steamer that preps row-upon-row of Wonder-brand hot dog buns 60 seconds at a time (each bun gets cycled through twice)—in their sleep. The franks, meanwhile, are prepared in a steam table fed by a mix of water and reclaimed beer (run-off from the main taps is redirected here for cooking purposes).

Patrons can further customize their dog by ordering “regular” (beef or vegetarian chili, mustard, onions) or “fully loaded” (all of the above plus nacho-style cheese).

Is the base dog the alpha male of the bunch? Not hardly.

But those who scoff at the mere thought of a bird-based frank need to understand that this particular dog really is the sum of its parts. And the synthesis of bold mustard, piquant onions, brawny chili and run-down-your-chin cheese sauce is absolutely the stuff that dining memories are made of.

By Warren Rojas

Between the near constant influx of families, jubilant sports teams and regular drinking buddies, it can be tough to find an open table or even a rickety booth at the storied Vienna Inn. If you do manage to snag a spot, kick up your heels, order up a cold one, and enjoy the company of people who just can’t get enough of the cheap beer, worn benches and bar memorabilia that have defined this place for decades.

A plate of Key West pasta and a 5-oz. filet are the most expensive items ($10.99 a pop) on the entire menu, while most other nightly specials—including crowd-pleasers like country fried steak and meatloaf and mashed potatoes—sneak in under $9. Mondays after 9 p.m., spiced peel-and-eat shrimp drop to 50 cents each while individual chicken wings are offered up for just a quarter.

A loaded chili dog ($1.75) is bawdy, dressing up a standard dog with onions, mustard, beefy chili and a mountain of melted cheddar (so bad for you, yet soooo good). An order of buffalo shrimp ($5.95) brings about two dozen perfectly pop able shrimp in a crispy breading that can be served either spicy or mild. Accomplished fire eaters can revel in an order of fried red chili poppers ($3.95), jumbo nuggets of searing pepper slices tucked into a bed of cream cheese and served with a tangy plum sauce that makes for a sweet and spicy encounter. Meanwhile, the house chili mac ($3.95) summons a sloppy mound of spaghetti topped with red bean chili, onions and cheese.

A beef barbecue sandwich ($5.25) is good, yielding plenty of shredded brisket doused in a decent barbecue sauce. A meatloaf special ($5.99) calls down a slab of ground beef propped up against whipped potatoes and gravy, steamed green beans, broccoli, cauliflower and carrots, and buttered baguette halves. The country fried steak is better, bearing a fairly juicy steak with chunky with lots of crispy breading that dutifully absorbs the wating gravy.