… and give me a half-priced glass of wine.

Liberty's happening happy hour. / Photo credit: Lorin Drinkard

Yes, in the bustling corridor of Clarendon nightlife there sits a restaurant/bar that stands out among the rest. With their high-ranking menu of deliciousness (named to NoVA Mag’s 50 Best Restaurants) and classy bar-like appeal, The Liberty Tavern  calls to us as a neon beacon of rest for weary 9 to 5ers, saying, “Do step out of the cold. Why don’t you grab a drink, order some food and stay awhile.”

“The food tastes like home cooking,” one female patron told us, as she sipped on Magic Hat #9. “I’ve been coming here since it first opened. We always come here before going out anywhere else.”

Even Mr. POTUS himself has dined at Liberty, enjoying an evening of conversation and swordfish.

Although happy hour specials at Liberty are only drink-related (fingers crossed they have a sudden change of heart and decide their menu should be deeply discounted, too!), they’re not too shabby. Wine is half-off (try the Hacienda del Plata Zagal Malbec) and beers are $5 a pop. Quite a few good draft picks, including Bell’s Oberon, Dale’s Pale Ale, Brooklyn Lager and Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen.

They also serve up some mean specialty cocktails. A group of 20somethings ordered a round of Industrials (Liberty’s agave nectar margarita), then another. Happy hours prices brings them to $5 each. Another good choice: the LT G&T ($10), which is Hendrick’s gin, cucumber, lime and bottled Fever  Tree Tonic.

Foodwise, the smells drifting from your neighbor’s plate will have you ordering in no time. Any of the wood-fired pizzas are a big hit and run from $12 to $15. The house smoked salmon “lasagne”  ($11) is a small plate but packs great flavor. For other small bites, try the crispy shrimp/Ipswich claims ($9), Tavern salad with radish ($6) or hand-cut fries ($5) topped with herbs.

For full menu options, check out Liberty’s website here.

The Liberty Tavern
3195 Wilson Blvd.  
Arlington, VA 22201
703-465-9360
www.thelibertytavern.com

HH: 4 to 7 pm

Price: $3.50 and up for wines, $5 for beer and Industrials

–Lorin Drinkard

Northern Virginian Orthodox Jews have more limited options when it comes to finding kosher foods that meet requisite certification standards. However, for Conservative, Reform and even secular Jews—as well as vast numbers of non-Jews—kosher food is also in high demand.

Challah Bread (Shutterstock/Liza1979)

Kosher-style dining is not to be confused with kosher (certified) dining. Kosher-style dining is not supervised by a certifying agency, and it is a term used to describe a number of dining scenarios, including the service of traditional Ashkenazic Jewish foods and deli fare (that may or may not include nonkosher meats).

Growing up Jewish in Falls Church, seasoned toque Barry Koslow, formerly of Tallula Restaurant, ate more frequently at Chinese food restaurants, than at kosher or kosher-style eateries.

While Koslow has dismissed the possibility of opening a kosher restaurant, he has entertained the idea of a kosher-style delicatessen-fine dining hybrid. “I would probably kill myself to make everything in house, but that would be the fun of it,” Koslow posited. “It would be exciting to cure and smoke fish, and meats, and pickles. And then it would be fun to try to invent something and make Jewish cooking mean something in today’s scene [by] moderniz[ing] it and mak[ing] it approachable . . . The more traditional you make something, the harder it would be to have a broader appeal.”

Meanwhile, he waxed poetic about the decline of the American-style delicatessen.

“[Even] delis that are pioneers are going backwards,” Koslow argued. “Delis are supposed to be making everything in house” but now, the “artisan approach” of yesteryear, has been supplanted by “humungous diner menus” of “industrialized, and pre-cooked foods.” Koslow would like to see delis fall in step with current restaurant industry trends, meaning, “sourcing, buying local, quality ingredients, buying sustainably and doing it yourself.”

Image: Shutterstock/Phase4Photgraphy

As the work week draws to a close, celebrate making it thus far (it’s Thursday, Thursday, gotta go out on Thursday!) with a trip to Panache at Tysons Corner.

Panache was voted “Best New Office Park Oasis,” it’s easy to see why. In addition to their stellar 4 to 8 p.m. weekday happy hour, Panache combines Mediterranean fusion with the likes of Italy, Spain and France to offer delicious and unique dishes.

From mini beef sliders and steaming fries to spinach and ricotta crepes, there’s a whole menu with the nightly food specials. At just $5 each, Panache promises to be wallet-friendly. Other food options include: steamed mussels, wings, fried calamari, mozzarella sticks and onion rings.

Check out the whole food menu on their site here.

Feeling happier yet? Pardon the pun but it was too good to pass up. On the drinks front, Panache offers a plethora of discounted beverages. Martinis (apple, Cosmo and French martini) are $5, while red and white house wine are priced at $5 as well.

In the mood for post-work cocktails? Pick your poison – gin, tequila, bourbon, rum or vodka – for the same price tag ($5). There’s also a selection of ten different bottled beers (think: Stella Artois, Blue Moon and Amstel Light) for $4 each. For a complete list of drinks, check out the full menu here.

So shut down your PC (after you’re done reading this, of course), grab your keys and head over to McLean’s after-work watering hole where you can scarf down some steamed mussels and laugh at the thought of sitting in Beltway traffic.

Panache at Tysons Corner
Pinnacle Towers South
1753 Pinnacle Drive
McLean, VA 22102
(703) 748-1919
www.panacherestaurant.com/tysons/contact.php

HH: 4 to 8 p.m. [only at the bar]

Prices: $5 food menu; $4 and $5 drink specials

-Lorin Drinkard

(Image: Melany Bundy Mullens)

Last night, Food& Wine named its Best New Chefs for 2010–a culinary who’s who which includes Trummer’s on Main toque Clayton Miller (above left) and Town House chef John Shields (above right).

Other local BNC alumni include Cathal Armstrong (2006) and Dale Reitzer (1999).

We’ve trumpeted the epicurean daring of Miller and Shields (and the wisdom of their respective restaurants for bringing them aboard) in the pages of our magazine, and are glad to see our national peers honor the exemplary cooking taking place around the Commonwealth.

Congrats chefs! Enjoy your trip to Aspen!

–Warren

Case in point: the airline pilot in the following clip devotes the first minute of his prearrival instructions alerting Lima-bound travelers to the signature dishes of the “gastronomic capital of the world”:

(Video: DarkAntrax)

The pilot trumpets a host of traditional specialties, from global favorites like citrus-splashed ceviche and mouthwatering pollo a la brasa to indigenous treats like suspiro (an ultra rich blend of meringue and dulce de leche) and anticuchos (grilled beef heart).

No word on which airline dispensed the patriotic dining advice. But confidence is high the exuberant travelers availed themselves of the best the country has to offer.

–Warren

Dating Humor: Dinner Date Master Class Courtesy: videojug.com

A friend of mine recently ended a long-term relationship and remarked that it had been so long, he’d forgotten most dating etiquette. To help him out (and to have a few laughs), I tracked down this video with a few helpful reminders. What I find most funny about is that I’ve seen many of the “Don’t's” take place while dining with friends.

Last week we introduced you to Teddy Folkman, executive chef at Granville Moore’s and finalist on this season’s “The Next Food Network Star.” In passing we mentioned Teddy’s involvement in Brainfood, a D.C.-based non-profit that “uses food and cooking as tools to teach life skills and healthy living to teenagers in a safe and positive environment.”

Well, last Thursday (I know I’m late getting this up, please forgive me!) was Brainfood’s Third Annual Grill Off. Held at the Decatur House, the event featured nine area chefs who each captained a team of amateur chefs and Brainfood students. Competing teams had one hour to create two original dishes from a surprise pantry of fresh ingredients; dishes were judged by a panel of foodies. While there, I caught up with Teddy, Vermilion’s Anthony Chittum, The Majestic’s Shannon Overmiller, ABC 7′s Leon Harris (who was the event’s MC), and Brainfood student Vanessa Castro.

According to Brainfood’s executive director Paul Dahm, the event was projected to raise nearly $60,000. Thanks to contributions from participants, guests and other donors, 100 percent of the proceeds will go directly to Brainfood.

In addition to competing, Folkman also raised nearly $8,000 during a live auction. The item up for bids? Folkman cooking dinner at your home for six people. As the bidding increased, Folkman began to include members of his staff. In the end, Folkman committed the services of his beer master, general manager, chef de cuisine, and sous chef to come to the winner’s home to prepare a meal for six. When the bidding came down to two finalists, Folkman decided to do both dinners.

Note: Originally I had planned to post the audio for each of the interviews, but it being a party and all, the background noise was too loud to do that. So, on to the interviews!

Afterwards, Folkman reflected on his team’s performance.

“We had a really great team. It went excellent, our student was pretty bad ass, every single person contributed,” Folkman said. “It was all about team work tonight. It was nice to sit back in a pseudo kitchen and give orders. I hope we did well. We did a rare seared tuna with a ragout of grilled vegetables and a coconut curry sauce. We’ll see what the judges say, but right now we’re all winners because we had such a good time.”

Asked what kind of response he’s gotten now that “The Next Food Network Star” has premiered, Folkman couldn’t help but laugh.

“The response has mainly been, ‘what were you doing wearing that orange shirt?’ and ‘I can’t believe you cooked raw potatoes.’ It’s been mostly positive. I have to make sure I don’t wear that shirt again in public. But as a guy known for his frites, potatoes, there could have been some creative editing done by the Food Network or they really could have been raw. But an hour and a half in the oven, I don’t know. You can bake a potato in less time than that, but they are the experts so whatever.”

Reflecting on his seven years involved with Brainfood, Folkman said, “Brainfood’s a big part of my life. … I’ve seen the hard times, I’ve seen the great times, tonight has definitely been one of those great times. I’d like to one day be on the board of directors. I plugged Brainfood as much as possible in “Star;” hopefully the editors will keep some of it in there. You look around and see all the chefs around here. Hopefully we’ll get them all back to volunteer throughout the year.”

Folkman’s student-chef Vanessa Castro never envisioned herself as a chef; her dream had always been to be a forensics scientist, but now, “the possibilities are endless.” Throughout the year, Castro and the other Brainfood students benefited from guest chefs, like Folkman, to teach them through lectures, cooking classes and field trips.

“We worked on our knife skills and learned to cook different cultural foods. … I got involved through my high school, it got my community service hours and have been able to meet people from new schools.”

For first-time Brainfood participant Majestic’s executive chef, Shannon Overmiller, the cause is close to her heart.

“I think it’s a great cause. It’s really important,” Overmiller said. “My background was not normal. I lost my parents when I was young. So I had a little bit of a struggle to get through and I needed help getting through everything I got through. So, I think this is the right opportunity for those that want it and see it and I would be more than honored to be a part of that.”

Asked how her team fared, Overmiller laughed. “We went a little riskier than some, we saw a lot of great ingredients get taken off the board,” she said. “We started with some calamari, then used the tentacles as stuffing with herbs, capers, olives, stewed tomatoes and balsamic white wine. Then added a white balsamic glaze and put it over a bed of artichokes, hearts of palm, and mixed greens.”

Vermillion’s Anthony Chittum, also a first-timer to Brainfood, took time away from opening Columbia Firehouse in Old Town after feeling  compelled to sign up after reflecting to his start in food.

“I had just recently heard about the organization,” Chittum said, still sweltering from the grill’s heat. “It’s something that’s close to me, I grew up working in kitchens, working for chefs. I learned a lot, even as a dishwasher I learned about more than cooking, just life in general. This group centers around that and it’s a great thing.”

As for ABC 7′s Harris, this is his third year as the Master of Ceremonies and he can’t wait for next year.

“I love this group,” Harris said, mid-sprint from the stage to his car, attempting to make it to work on time. “It’s a good way to reach kids by sneak attack. They don’t know they’re learning. I’ve only seen a handful of programs like that and this exemplifies that. This is my third year doing the fundraiser; it’s been a blast the whole way.”

-Stephen Ball

Photo: World Wide Pants

Not sure if any one else caught the season premiere of the Bravo Network’s “Top Chef-Masters” last night.  A spin-off of the wildly popular reality cooking show that has introduced us to local favorites Carla Hall and Spike Mendelsohn, “Masters” pits more high-profile, experienced chefs against each other all in the name of charity.

Though the obvious drawback is the absence of host Padma Lakshmi, “Masters” is every bit as entertaining and a bit more lighthearted (at least early on). In each of the first five episodes, four chefs compete to move on to the “Champions Round” with the winner receiving a $100,000 donation to the charity of their choice.

What’s interesting about this season is that the level of experience has been ratcheted up. Instead of relative unknowns battling to gain notoriety and the opportunity to own their own restaurant, each of these chefs are award winners with multiple restaurants. What’s also interesting is that many of these chefs have not had to compete in quite some time, if ever, and are every bit as nervous and prone to error as the regular contestants.

Last night’s quick fire, the bane of every chef’s existence, dessert, was uninspired but did make the master chefs extremely uncomfortable. The highlight of the episode had to be Texas chef Tim Love accidentally putting all his food in the freezer (thinking it was a refrigerator).

In the elimination challenge, the chefs were forced to cook in college dorm rooms with only a microwave, hot plate and toaster oven. San Fransisco chef Hubert Keller made macaroni and cheese, using a shower head to chill and then reheat his macaroni noodles. Innovative, yes … sanitary … um, probably not.

What I really enjoy about shows like this is pulling for the local contestant, and this season is no different. Art Smith, best known as Oprah’s personal chef, is the chef/owner in the District’s “Art and Soul” which features Smith’s southern roots combined with decades of southern cooking. 

Smith won’t say how he fared in his foray into reality television because the episode has yet to air. But keep an eye out for Smith and other master chefs each Wednesday night on Bravo.

-Stephen

By Warren Rojas / Photography by James Kim

Good news, hardcore burger enthusiasts: The world now appears to be your built-to-order, fully dressed oyster.

While steak dinners seem to be fading (fast) from our culinary lexicon with every triple-digit plunge of the Dow (bear markets have bottoms, don’t they?), burger mania continues to spread like wildfire, sparking interest among celebrity chefs and starry-eyed restaurateurs alike.

So, where should Joe Six-Pack go to feed that burger need?

We’ve compiled a hit list of well-within-your-means deals—ranging from daily treats (anytime) to grandiose productions (big time) —guaranteed to make your mouth water.

Cutting back never tasted so good.

$5 AND UNDER
Five Guys
Multiple NoVa locations; www.fiveguys.com.
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for lunch and dinner daily.

Five Guys

They’ve been in business for going on 23 years. Have opened nearly 400 locations. And give away somewhere in the neighborhood of 30,000 pounds of free peanuts each and every day.

It’s all a numbers game to the folks at Five Guys, arguably the most successful burger franchise to ever spring from within the Beltway.

Company president Jerry Murrell makes no bones about giving all the credit for the booming burger dynasty to his five sons—Jim, Matt, Chad, Ben and Tyler (the flesh-and-blood founders behind the quirky title). 
“I gave them the money … but they opened the [first] store and ran it,” Murrell said of his visionary spawn.
And not much has changed since.

“We’re really fanatical about the few things we do,” he stated, pointing to the seemingly intractable menu of four core burgers (hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger, bacon cheeseburger; all available as single or double stacks) as proof of their conservative credentials.

Although they’ve branched out significantly since their early days as a carryout-only operation in Arlington, every Five Guys store currently operates under the same marching orders as the original.

Customers order at the register, at which point the cashier calls back the number of handmade patties the cooks should toss on the always-crowded grill. “There’s no secret to it. It’s just Grade A, 80[muscle]/20[fat] hamburger,” Murrell said of their beef, which is sourced from a select few grinding facilities scattered nationwide.

As the patties progress across the sizzling griddle, crackling and hissing their way from raw to well-done (Five Guys’ default cooking temperature), patrons can customize their burger with over a dozen gratis toppings, including: ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish, grilled mushrooms, diced jalapenos and A1 steak sauce.

Staff then stacks each laundry list of toppings atop a proprietary roll (produced by a half-dozen bakeries nationwide) and waits for the grill cooks to slide the finished burger directly from spatula to waiting bun.
A fully loaded cheeseburger is choreographed chaos, summoning a 3-inch monument to dripping American cheese, glistening mushrooms (so very tasty), juice-laden meat (soaked through in honest-to-god beef flavor), hefty, crinkle-cut pickle chips and whatever else your imagination can muster.

Truth be told, adding anything more than a handful of toppings makes these stuffed-to-the-gills monsters pretty much unmanageable. But I have yet to hear anyone complain that they got too much burger or excess free toppings for their money.

Back when they first started, Five Guys famously offered $10 to anyone who could find a better burger at the same price ($1.79, back then). “We had those signs in our stores for probably eight years. Nobody ever called,” Murrell said of their no-questions-asked reward policy.

According to Murrell, the bacon cheeseburger has been the hands-down favorite from day one.
That, and of course their peanut-oil fries (typically served thick, crisp and well salted).

“Our fries are big sellers,” he said, estimating that each store cooks up around 300 pounds of No. 2 Russet Burbank baking potatoes per day. “We do something like 10 percent of Idaho’s potato business,” Murrell said of their dedicated potato pipeline.

Meanwhile, Murrell said he welcomes the influx of high-end burger operations that have flooded the area, opining, “It’s good to get people used to paying more for a good burger.”

That’s not to say he’s thrilled about EVERY new competitor that blows into town.

“I don’t like it when people sell bad burgers,” he said. “That doesn’t help anybody.”

$10 AND UNDER
Foster’s Grille
Multiple NoVa locations; www.fostersgrille.com.
Average entree: Under $12 ($). Open for lunch and dinner daily.

Foster's Grille

As they approach their 10-year anniversary (the concept debuted in Manassas in June 1999), Foster’s Grille cofounder Shawn Foster said he remains most proud of the roots they’ve put down with each neighborhood incursion.

“That’s what keeps us separated from some of the bigger chains: community service,” he estimated, stressing that they always reach out to local schools/churches/emergency personnel in order to build relationships that both keep the seats filled and support the incarnate infrastructure of every new market.
Burgers as societal glue? Kooky.

Having spent nearly 30 years in the hospitality trade—including almost a decade as a corporate chef with The Palm, where he helped launch 11 outposts and got a crash course in all things high-end beef—Foster doesn’t take anything for granted when it comes to his thriving burger enterprise.

“The emphasis is on fresh food and great customer service,” he said of the company’s guiding vision—a philosophy that helped Foster’s Grille establish 25 locations up and down the East Coast, with three more set to come online in early 2009.

I suspect their success may also be tied to their handling of perhaps the most oft-neglected slice of local diners: children. From the made-to-order menus (everyone orders via old-fashioned checklist) to the banks of video games tucked back into mini arcades, the restaurant fosters the kind of free-wheeling attitude that appeals to everyone from toddlers to teens.

“The more comfortable the kids are, the more comfortable you are,” one server postulated—which probably explains why every location around here seems to be perennially packed with youngsters and their (surprisingly) mellow parents.

“Oh, hi! The whole neighborhood’s here,” exclaims one mom as she bumps into yet another acquaintance one night (that poor couple couldn’t seem to take a bite before somebody new popped by to say hello/catch up).

Adults, on the other hand, most likely come for the signature Charburger.

According to Foster, the flagship hamburger—forged from 8 ounces of 75 (muscle)/25 (fat) beef, seasoned with a proprietary spice blend and cooked to “roughly medium-well”—accounts for roughly 60 percent of their total sales.

The unfettered burger has homemade grilling written all over it, from the prominent grate marks to the meaty wallop of each bite (slightly burnt exterior belies the warm juices residing within). Although each burger can be outfitted with a slew of traditional toppings (lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, onions, pickles, American cheese; bacon is $0.75 extra), we prefer to game the system by slopping on an order of chili-cheese fries (interlocking spuds caked together with molten Whiz and perfectly respectable beef- and bean-laden chili), which effectively double/triple the volume of your sandwich (shazam!).

For now, every entree includes a side of fries and a beverage (Foster claims the combo meal packaging really streamlines the ordering process).

But the chainlet recently began experimenting with a “5 for $5.45” promotion, allowing customers to try any solo sandwich—burger, roast beef, turkey, garden or the new BLT (boasting six strips of bacon) for just $5.45. Foster said they are also working on some potential “quick bites” candidates, including: black Angus steak sliders (somewhat skimpy burger gets a big boost from a sassy-sweet onion-diced pickle relish), buffalo-chicken sliders, chili-cheese nachos and chili-cheese fries.

But don’t read any menu tweaks as signs that the Foster’s folks feel they’ve lost a step in today’s gourmet-burger wars.

“There’s room out there for the avocado burgers,” Foster suggested, adding that “obviously everybody’s going to try the new guy on the block. But I’ll put our product up against anybody.”

$15 AND UNDER
Joe’s Burgers
6706 Old Dominion Drive, McLean; 703-917-4008; www.joesburgers.net
Average entree: Under $12 ($). Open for lunch and dinner daily.

While the name on the sign seems pretty vanilla, the menu at Joe’s Burgers is anything but. Of course, with siblings like the tapas-themed Corner Bistro and classically Gallic Le Mistral, it’s no wonder the fledgling burger operation (opened June 2007) takes some liberties with traditional grilled fare.

Company CFO Al Laroussi swears the gourmet burger stand was born out of a desire to offer loyal patrons yet another casual dining option in downtown McLean. “It actually helps us to have different kinds of restaurants because we serve clients who are interested in both gourmet burgers and Spanish tapas,” he said of the impromptu restaurant row they’ve stitched together along the same stretch of road.

Likewise, Joe’s does not need to fear too much competition from more well-established burger chains, because they consider themselves somewhat of a different animal.

Make that, several different animals.

Though you can certainly get a standard cheeseburger at Joe’s, the brunt of their menu is dominated by exotic meats and multi-faceted preparations.

In the mood for flame-kissed ostrich? They’ve got it. Prefer more of an open-range feel to your meals? Stretch your culinary legs with the buffalo burger. Second-guessing yourself about heading next door for tapas? Indulge all your appetites with a cooked-to-order Black Angus burger bedecked with manchego- and olive-infused dressing.

Laroussi said co-owners Beverly and Joseph Alonso strove to develop the roughly dozen specialty burgers at the heart of the menu, but noted that they always welcome input from patrons on where next to take their burger passions.

In my opinion, there’s already plenty to celebrate.

The aforementioned venison burger never ceases to satisfy, delivering a leaner patty than some of the beefier standard bearers, but much more flavor to boot. The well-peppered game works best when served slightly scorched on the outside, succulently tender within (juices should run ever-so slightly red) and dressed with homemade barbecue sauce (acceptably sweet), caramelized onions, robust slabs of grilled pancetta (bacon’s totally cooler big brother), melted Gruyere (provides a welcome dairy kick to the protein-rich production) and sauteed mushrooms (spongy exclamation points).

Grilled ostrich summons lean but expressive meat (more pronounced than turkey, less gamey than lamb) that retains its juiciness and flavor well—even it if winds up being the baby of the bunch (patty looks to be about a quarter smaller than other burgers).

A Black Angus burger delivers well-charred beef gloriously slathered in molten boursin (equal parts cream and herby snap), sauteed mushrooms and just a squiggle of the house barbecue sauce packed into the accommodating brioche bun.

The so-called special Kobe burger, on the other hand, was neither Kobe—a universally revered grade of beef extracted from extravagantly pampered cattle raised exclusively in Kobe, Japan; think of it as the champagne of beef—nor particularly special. This American wagyu (remember: all Kobe is wagyu, but not vice versa) knockoff was plenty tasty, but nowhere near as marbled/dense/intoxicatingly rich as authentic Kobe. And the plain-Jane soy marinade is nothing you haven’t tried elsewhere.

Above-the-grill counter hangs a vintage pharmacological ad urging yesteryear’s diners to “Eat meat—meatless diets are often dangerous,” followed by a testimonial espousing that “97 of Southern California physicians endorse meat.”

Confidence is high you could snag the final three holdouts (assuming they polled 100 docs) with Joe’s venison burger.

$5 AND UNDER
Elevation Burger
442 S. Washington St., Falls Church; 703-237-4343; www.elevationburger.com
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for lunch and dinner daily.

If there’s one thing Elevation Burger founder/CEO Hans Hess absolutely cannot stand, it’s
being told something is impossible.

Take his signature olive-oil fries, for instance.

Prior to opening his eco-minded eatery, Elevation Burger, in September 2005, Hess floated the idea of dunking his starchy sides in fragrant vats of bubbling, churning olive oil rather than conventional vegetable/seed oils and found nothing but naysayers.

“Nobody cooks them,” he said. “But everybody said, ‘You can’t do it.’”

The confluence of the hospitality industry’s near-universal contempt and his background in physics predicated an intensive six-month frying sabbatical—he wanted fries that were “crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside”—that ultimately led to Hess’ now-patented frying procedure.

It’s that same type of moxie, that pioneering vision, that led to the creation of the appetite-thrashing Half the Guilt burger.

The Frankenstein-like protein party—the novel construct marries a standard patty (3 ounces of grass-fed, free-range organic beef) with one meat substitute (plus all the regular fixins, including their house sauce that’s too sweet for my taste, tomatoes, pickles, lettuce, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, raw/caramelized onions and balsamic mustard; blue cheese sauce costs $0.50 extra)—can actually be assembled two different ways.

HtG No. 1 features a flavorful Gardenburger patty woven together with fresh corn, roasted peppers, rolled oats and mozzarella cheese (serves mostly as binder). Once paired with freshly grilled beef smothered in melted cheddar, you get a pleasantly filling feast with Southwestern-style flavors (peppers and corn carry the day).

HtG No. 2 features a much rawer Gardenburger (vegan-friendly patty is all brown rice and plain vegetables) which imparts a much grainier, though probably also more salutary, demeanor to the double-stacked burger.

“It has almost a cult following unto itself,” Hess said of their meat-meets-veggies dining option.
Hess said their traditional double cheeseburger (originally known as the Big Phat burger; recently rebranded as the eponymous Elevation burger) remains the top seller, with the regular cheeseburger holding firm at second.

Both burgers have their charms—the Big Phat is tasty, but terribly messy, thanks largely to a too-small bun tasked with containing juice-laden meat and the unavoidably greasy melted cheddar (really makes the meal); pickle planks stretch across the solo cheeseburger, infusing every bite with vinegar and crunch—but lack the alpha-omega fortitude of the Half the Guilt.

And while the average lunch and dinner crowd tends to skew towards toddler-toting Generation Xers and sports team-shepherding Baby Boomers all looking to slip some organic dining into their overwrought schedules, Hess said every so often the restaurant becomes a battleground for ravenous teens/attention-seeking 20-somethings who come to best each other over Vertigo burgers.

For those who don’t know, the Vertigo is a build-your-own burger (up to 10 patties) that invites customization (meat, vegetable patties, cheese and toppings can be intermingled to the client’s content).
“We sell probably a dozen of those a month,” Hess said of the daunting burger towers, noting that one determined competitor mowed through a full Vertigo, then ordered two additional Big Phats (14 patties total) just to humiliate his opponent.

Bottomless pits everywhere will soon be able to shame their own friends, as Hess says he’s already sold the rights to 24 franchises (poised to open over the next three years). He expects to launch a store per month for the first half of 2009, with the first spinoff set to debut in Arlington, followed by a National Harbor spot, then Baltimore, Philadelphia, New Jersey and Austin.

$15 AND UNDER
Ray’s Hell Burger
1713 Wilson Blvd., Arlington; 703-841-0001
Average entree: Under 12 ($).  Open for lunch, Tuesday through Sunday, dinner daily.

Ray's Hell Burger

To hear Ray’s Hell Burger founder Michael Landrum tell it, decking out their already mammoth 10-ounce burgers with a 2-ounce slab of pan-seared foie gras was more about whimsy than focus-group driven deliberation.

“To me, it’s just another ingredient,” the renegade restaurateur suggested.

Landrum has made a name for himself by appeasing the masses with affordable, no-nonsense cuisine (next up, Ray’s the Heat and Ray’s the Net) while confounding his business contemporaries (complimentary sides/sweets, strict no-reservations policies).

It’s no surprise that he’s repeated that same formula—to critical and populist acclaim—at Hell Burger, a restaurant that relishes its singular purpose.

“I’m happy to say, I’m a specialist,” Landrum shared, noting that he finds the lack of single-focus restaurants in this area somewhat alarming.

“My goal is to make the best burger that I can make … with the approach and the style that I have,” he stated. So while he believes Palena’s and Central’s gourmet offerings may be the best burgers “of that type,” he’s gunning for more of a “heavily charred, steakhouse-style burger.”

Luckily, he had plenty of time to hone his craft.

Landrum said he used to sling burgers at RtS when they first opened, but had to stop once the place evolved from neighborhood joint to regional phenomena. After the down-the-strip spot opened up, Landrum simply bided his time until he was able to train a full-time Hell Burger crew (surreptitiously indoctrinated during shifts at RtS) that could hit the ground running.

After that, it was simply a matter of crafting the perfect brioche potato bun (specially prepared by a custom baker; the restaurant is currently serving the fifth iteration of the proprietary roll) and lining up the awe-inspiring roster of artisan cheeses—over a dozen dairy gems ranging from Vermont cheddar to AOC-certified Epoisse (Burgundian cow’s milk cheese).

“It was a very off-the-cuff, sort of side gig that came up,” he said of his calculated march back into the burger trade last summer.

But rather than join the ranks of so-called “rock star” chefs he claims have dived into the burger game more for the fame than the food, Landrum said he elected to tip his hat to old-school rap artists and R&B legends on his carte. Hence the nods to: Soul Burger Number One (James Brown), Let’s Get It On (Marvin Gaye), B.I.G. Poppa (deceased rapper) and The Dogcatcher (Snoop Dogg).

The resulting product, though clearly fanciful, doesn’t necessarily feel like food porn so much as more cleverly imagined grilling fare.

The burger itself—10 ounces of home-ground beef, plucked from the same cuts people swoon over at RtS—is fairly unfussy (respectable crust, delectably juicy interior). But the wealth of gourmet toppings and cut-rate prices make most meals here inherently special.

Of the two foie gras offerings, Landrum said the Seville was most closely designed to mimic classic steakhouse fare (bordelaise sauce being a meat-palace staple).

The cooked-to-order beef is crowned with truffle oil and sauteed mushrooms (luxuriant oil and caramelized shrooms produce a porcini-like sweetness) and then finished with the glassy hunk of offal (nutty tang, silky finish). One companion was stunned by the dribbling juices that escaped the bun as I hoisted the monstrous burger to my lips. “Is that the foie gras or the meat?” my compatriot inquired, having never indulged in foie gras till a few seconds later (final verdict: He liked it, but wasn’t rabidly smitten).

Still, the foie continues to excite.

“It’s not my biggest seller, but it is my biggest surprise,” he said, estimating that they forge over a dozen of the opulent combos on busy nights. “People go nuts for ’em.”

$10 AND UNDER
Big Buns Gourmet Grill
4401 Wilson Blvd., Arlington; 703-276-3032; www.eatbigbuns.com
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for lunch and dinner, Monday through Saturday.

Big Buns Gourmet Grill

The name elicits titters. Their store is locked within an urban courtyard. And the press seems determined to pigeonhole them as “just another burger joint.”

Yet Big Buns cofounder Craig Carey takes it all in stride.

He threw in the towel on a staid sports-marketing career (Carey’s got a marketing/finance degree to fall back on) and later learned the nuts and bolts of restaurant management by working his way through the ranks of the Great American Restaurants machine (Has everyone in the biz worked for these guys at some point?).

But the restless soon-to-be restaurateur was already analyzing the rise of made-to-order, Mexican fast-casual eateries—which he figured were reaching their natural tipping point—and reworking their model to fit his plans for an American grill.

Once he found kindred spirit Tom Racowsky, a Johnson & Wales grad yearning for his next culinary challenge, the partners set about bringing their custom grill to life.

Though still in its infancy (the store debuted summer 2007), Carey estimates that around 300 customers march through their doors during a “busy” lunch rush. Work days bring businessmen all too happy to pin their ties back to avoid sporting a stray ketchup stain back to the office, while fry-sharing couples and book-reading singles lay siege to the dining room most weekends.

Carey credits their success so far to the plainspoken but pliable menu. The five-step program involves selecting:
protein: beef (7 1/2 ounce patty), marinated chicken breast, marinated mahi mahi filet or marinated Portobello cap; serving style: either on a brioche bun or placed atop salad greens; toppings: cheese (first slice of American, blue, cheddar, havarti, Swiss or pepperjack is free; each additional slice is $0.49 extra) and fixins (free items include: pickles, jalapenos, lettuce, tomatoes, grilled/raw red onions, roasted peppers, roasted corn salsa, mushrooms, black bean and mango salsa, grilled pineapple and bean sprouts; premium selections include: avocado, bacon, fried onion rings and guacamole for $0.79 each); dressings: first shot of buttermilk-herb ranch, honey mustard, chipotle-pesto aioli or sweet chili vinaigrette is free (additional orders are $0.29 extra); and, sides: regular fries, sweet-potato fries, pre-packaged chips.

“I really wanted to provide a simple menu … but with thousands of possibilities,” Carey said of the mix-and-match malleability of the ordering process.

Although traditional burgers remain the strongest seller to date, Carey noted that the burger salads continue to gain converts.

“So many people come in and get the bowls because they want the salad option,” he said.

The fiber-rich feast begins with a bowl of shredded lettuce anchored by the plainspoken patty (lean yet wide burger delivers on its promise of grilled beef sans any fanfare). The party really starts when you begin piling on the toppings, like: tangy-hot roasted peppers (fantastic), plentiful blue-cheese crumbles (piquant and creamy), chunky-style grilled onions (ambassadors of sweet), arresting bits of raw jalapeno (bring the spicy) and half-moons of fresh avocado (well worth the splurge).

The sweet chili vinaigrette sounds better on paper (subtle zest is easily overwhelmed by the avalanche of add-ons), while the buttermilk-herb ranch does its job with less interference.

Spice lovers, however, will definitely want to go the chipotle-pesto route. The frothy fire-starter—part creamy, part kerosene—hooks you in with the seductive aioli base, and then zaps the back of your throat with peppery heat seconds later (hurts so good).

According to Carey, the homemade aioli became such a hot commodity early on that they now give it away free as a complimentary dipping sauce with each order of fries.

“People ask if they can get it to go,” Carey said of the fiery condiment.

$1 Burgers
Most Bang for your Buck

Whopper Jr.
The pleasing barrage of nostalgia-inducing flavors (smoke from the flame-broiled meat, juicy tomato, zesty onion, creamy mayo) creates the illusion of something you actually might serve in your own backyard.

Burger King
$1 Options:  Whopper Jr. (contender), regular hamburger
Ingredients: sesame-seed bun, ketchup, mayonnaise, shredded lettuce, tomato, sliced onions, pickles, traditional beef patty
First Impression: This scaled-down version of Burger King’s flagship sandwich actually has some height to it (looks like a serious burger).

McDonald’s
$1 Options:  double cheeseburger (contender), regular hamburger
Ingredients: white-flour bun, ketchup, mustard, minced onions, pickles, processed cheese, 2 traditional beef patties
First Impression: This mainstay looks and sadly tastes more like a third-generation mimeograph—as envisioned by the Matrix’s sensory mixer.

Wendy’s
$1 Options: double stack (everything else on the fabled 99-cent menu has since creeped
well above $1)
Ingredients: white-flour bun, ketchup, mustard, pickles, whole onion rings, processed cheese, square beef patty
First Impression: This tamped-down creation looks like a slightly beefier White Castle mini.

(January 2009)

By Warren Rojas / Photography by Jonathan Timmes and Hana Jung

Let’s be honest: Nobody starts dieting in December.

Between the holiday parties, family gatherings and pre-/post-/intra-shopping-blitz snacking, counting calories goes on hiatus until a pseudo-sense of normalcy resumes sometime in early/mid-January.

So, why not send 2008 off with a bang by enjoying one last round of heavenly sweets and devilishly rich treats worth their weight in gold (which, I hear, is much safer than stocks right now)?

Best of all, you can still enjoy these “King”-ly indulgences even if you’re 401(k) has shriveled to a 4.01(k) (can’t wait for that food writers’ bailout to take shape).

Crunchy
The Swiss Bakery
Multiple NoVa Locations; www.theswissbakery.com
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Check locations for times.

Though my empirical evidence may be lacking, I’d be willing to bet The Swiss Bakery’s greatest expenditure is Windex.

Lord knows I had to fight to urge to press my face up against the glass to get an even better look at the fresh-baked buffet of meticulously decorated cookies and homespun pastries that seem to stretch into infinity behind their handsome display case.

Owner Laurie Weber (pastry chef) and her Swiss-born husband, Reto (head baker), bought the Burke location from the original owner in August 2001. They opened the companion Springfield store last August.

Almost all the daily baking is now handled exclusively at the Springfield shop—although Laurie Weber said some cookies and pastries are finished at the Burke store.

She estimated that on any given day they crank out approximately 50 cookies, two dozen French pastries, 15 to 20 breakfast items, a dozen (or so) rotating cakes, 15 to 20 homemade rolls/artisan breads and a handful of tarts. Come holiday time, Weber said they roll out seasonal gems like homemade panettone, stollen, bouche de noel and pre-fab/build-your-own gingerbread houses.

But why wait? After returning to the office with a mixed bag of the Webers’ cookie catalog, one giddy coworker gushed, “This makes me feel like it’s Christmas already.”

Sensible butter biscuits are gussied up with chopped nuts and a zesty cinnamon coating (nice combo). Greek shortbread bathes almond-laced dough in confectioners’ sugar (reminiscent of Mexican wedding cookies). Jewel-like Linzer cookies surround multicolored marmalades with hazelnut- and cinnamon-spiked dough (spicy-sweet synergy).

Pastry lovers need not feel neglected.

Cherry strudel weds sweet and sour (ripe, jellied cherries) with crispy dough (terrific). Walnut-covered sticky buns stain fingers with their molasses-like brown-sugar payload (a knockout). Napoleon marshals together smooth, vanilla custard, crackling phyllo leaves and marbled fondant icing for a regal treat. Meanwhile, chocoholics can sneak a nip of something even stronger via humdinger rum balls featuring alcohol-drenched fudge dredged in chocolate sprinkles (hard to tell which has more of an effect, the built-in booze or the natural chocolate euphoria).

Icy
Sweet Life Café
3950 Chain Bridge Road, Fairfax; 703-385-5433
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.

Photography by Hana Jung

I’m sad to say that my own ice-cream maker collects more dust than it does crystalline milk and sloshing spices.

Good thing the Lederer clan doesn’t follow my example, opting instead to churn out over a dozen daily flavors at their charming Sweet Life Café.

The family-run enterprise screams neighborhood retreat, offering classic distractions like at-the-ready checkerboards, rocking chairs and a whimsical motorized train set that chugs along into perpetuity above the heads of the restaurant’s army of teenage servers.

Though they recently expanded their menu to include more home-style meals (including burgers, sandwiches and full-on entrees), the lines often form right in front of an ice-cream counter stocked with festive flavors (including the likes of caramel, pumpkin, gingerbread, coffee, Irish cream, mocha brownie, black raspberry chocolate, cinnamon-pecan, dreamsicle and bubble gum).

Standard sundaes emerge fully ensconced in hot fudge, sprinkles, whipped cream and cherries (additional toppings available by request), while the playful “dirt sundae”—interlaced with crushed Oreos and gummy worms—elicits gleeful squeals from adoring youngsters (and young-at-heart adults).

Their lick-your-spoon-good cake-batter ice cream is thick but not doughy—staff shared that they use a whole box of Duncan Hines yellow-cake mix per batch; you can taste the moist-cake-that-will-never-be in every creamy bite—delivering plenty of butter and all-around richness. Hot-chocolate mix and ground-up Nestle Crunch add bite to the coyote crunch (malted mouth feel is exacerbated by hidden pockets of puffed rice and milk chocolate).

Caramel is evenly rich, rolling across the tongue like so much liquid sugar. Root-beer float delivers all the fun of yesteryear without the straw. Cherry-chocolate chunk swirls together real cherries, mini chocolate chips and more tongue-clicking caramel.

Sassy
Overwood
220 N. Lee St., Alexandria; 703-535-3340; www.theoverwood.com
Average entree: $13 to $20 ($$). Open for lunch, dinner and late-night dining daily, Sunday brunch.

Photography by Jonathan Timmes

Seasonal comforts and rock ‘n’ roll appear to be the driving force behind Overwood’s head-turning sweets catalog—a list that owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to the curious tastes of Memphis’s favorite son.

The core desserts include the likes of a reputable key lime pie, Godiva bread pudding and the now-obligatory fudge-brownie sundae. But the real stars draw their strength from the synergy of Southern roots and North-African ingenuity.

Executive chef/partner Boubker Errami (a Morrocan native) pointed to the wildly successful slice of Elvis pie—a spotlight hog built upon crushed Oreos, faux peanut-butter filling (more dense than traditional mousse and littered with fresh peanuts), thinly sliced bananas, whipped cream, drizzled chocolate, caramel and crème anglaise and shaved, Belgian dark chocolate—as their top seller, estimating that they probably move over two dozen whole pies per week.

“It’s the king,” he said of their peanut-butter sensation, adding that even way-out-of-towners—including one Seattle woman who recently placed a special order for a family birthday—have become wise to the show-stopping sweet. “It’s amazing.”

Just one bite left me—don’t hurl the magazine; you knew it was coming—all shook up.

The strata upon strata of chilled banana and mouth-filling peanut butter lit up the pleasure centers of my youth (so chewy, so gooey, so grand), while the competing streams of liquid decadence reassured my adult mind of the fun grown-ups can still have in the kitchen.

As I chipped away at the towering slice, one onlooker smiled, leaned over and commented, “death by chocolate, indeed.”

Not quite, buddy. But what a way to go.

The sweet-potato cheesecake is another homemade charmer, delivering North Carolina spuds (spiced center, ricotta-like creaminess) rolled into a ground-gingersnap crust, dusted with cinnamon and baptized in a Jack Daniel’s bourbon-honey blend (delicious). Though less glitzy than the Elvis creation, the moist filling and natural sweetness (loved the cinnamon and honey notes) made for good holiday eating without all the mall traffic and maxed-out credit cards.

Groovy
CakeLove
Multiple NoVa Locations; www.cakelove.com
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Check locations for times.

Though other local media outlets have taken to pitting the burgeoning crop of would-be cupcake kings against one another in a tastetacular battle royal, we prefer a kindlier, gentler approach to baked goods appreciation.

Perhaps that’s why we’re suckers for D.C. attorney-turned-self-styled baker Warren Brown’s brand of from-scratch feasting, CakeLove.

Brown opened his first CakeLove on the now-booming U Street corridor in early 2002, and has since broadened his reach with incursions into Virginia (including a pedestrian-friendly refuge in the recent Shirlington expansion and a grab-and-go stand within Tysons Corner Center) and Maryland (including his latest shop in National Harbor).

Though he’s drawn some fire from critics of the exactitude of his serving requirements—CakeLove vociferously urges all its customers to bring all their homemade creations to room temperature (approximately 72 F) before enjoying—Brown seems totally unfazed by all the haters, working instead to keep his devoted fans in the custom flavors they’ve come to know and love.

One loyalty-builder includes the standing free-cupcake-on-your-birthday offer (just show your ID and stroll out with a freebie). Another is Shirlington’s fabulous “chocolate happy hour” promotion, a weekly deal whereupon customers can take 20 percent off any chocolate purchase each Tuesday.

Of course, there’s more to this local legend than discount chocolate.

Raspberry-on-vanilla cupcakes are a tangy-fresh treat, revealing pinkish frosting that walks the line between velvety butter and whipped yogurt (fantastic fruit flavor). Peanut-butter cupcakes taste of ground nuts and scrumptious butter cream (the perfect little pick-me-up). Ganache-covered, yellow sponge cake comes off like a milk-chocolate mushroom (an insta-classic).

Elsewhere, a slice of toffee-crunch cake summons moist chocolate cake layered with butter-cream frosting, caramel sauce and toffee crunchies (groovy). And a dreamy peanut-butter cheesecake gets a boost from a its chocolate ganache shell (some female companions almost lost consciousness from this one).

Fruity
Majestic Bakery
9255 Center St., Manassas; 703-330-4447
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Monday through Saturday.

Natas / Photography by Hana Jung

My heart went out to her.

The timid, teenage girl just stood there, staring longingly at the frozen tundra of homemade gelatos encased behind the frost-covered glass at Manassas’ Majestic Bakery.

“I don’t know how to say it,” she sheepishly confessed to the attendant, electing to the tap the glass above her frozen wish rather than garble the proper name of the Italian chiller. (“Stra-cha-TELLA,” the helpful server sounded out for her.)

Exotic sweets and an education? That’s my kind of place.

Majestic takes its cues from the increasingly visible Portuguese population that calls Manassas home (a congregation currently serviced by a dining/shopping circuit comprised of several restaurants, the new Food Lovers market, Majestic and a clandestine supper club).

That means serving a slew of gourmet coffees and espresso drinks, preparing hot sandwiches and tapas-style platters for light snacking and keeping local expats cool with a rainbow of gelato flavors (apple, mango, coconut, the chocolate chip-like stracciatella, rum, hazelnut, green tea).

Then there’s the pastries.

Traditional natas reveal custard-filled pastry cups that smack of fresh eggs and preternatural sweetness—due in no small part to the creme brulee-like crust and heavenly, almond-tinged custard below.

Meringue-covered apple tart is another double-duty delight, erecting a burnt-sugar shield guarding a core of caramelized apples and powdered sugar pressed between thin layers of dough (fresh and filling without being overly sweet).

Chocolate-frosted jelly rolls (dense cake, syrupy strawberry) and custard-filled pinwheels (egg cream and sponge cake rolled in sprinkled sugar) are less ornate, but cede no ground on the sugar shock-satisfaction scale.

Likewise, the cleverly conceived “gelato lemonade”— much more potent than shaved ice but less viscous than a commercial Slurpee—puts an Old World twist on a New World thirst-quencher.

Naughty
Cowboy Cafe
4792 Lee Highway, Arlington; 703-243-8010
Average entree: $13 to $20 ($$). Open for lunch and dinner daily, weekend brunch.

Most bar owners would wince at the mere thought of having bands of underage clients march through their doors in search of a good time.

Cowboy Cafe co-owner Zac Culbertson, on the other hand, welcomes said kiddies with open arms—and a slew of funky new desserts.

Since taking over the longstanding watering hole last November, Zac and brother/fellow co-owner Matt Culbertson have seen their kids’ birthday-party business blossom—thanks in no small part to the creative jiggering of their dessert carte by chef Chris Kenworthy (last seen at Ballston’s Grand Cru).

Case in point: Culbertson said the brothers always knew they wanted to serve some sort of bread pudding on their revamped menu.

“That’s just something Matt and I grew up with,” he said of the familiar post-dinner treat.

But it took one of Kenworthy’s buddies to suggest tossing candy bars into the dining equation. After some initial experimentation, Culbertson now hails the Butterfinger bars for providing “a little stiffer bread pudding” than most people are probably used to.

The puffy sweet actually tastes more like French toast than traditional bread pudding (less syrupy/watery, anyway), showcasing giant triangles of baked brioche bread (another proprietary update) drizzled with caramel sauce and sprinkled with the crispety, crunchety candy bits (toffee-like nuggets rock).

“It’s definitely unique,” Culbertson said.

Meanwhile, their s’mores pie—an homage to campfire dining, sans all the errant pine needles and hard-to-reach bug bites—envelops mushy gobs of baked marshmallow and deep, rich fudge between crumbly graham-cracker layers, all zigzagged with caramel and marshmallow sauces and dusted with powdered sugar.

“It’s kind of warm and gooey in the middle,” Culbertson said of their best-selling dessert, adding, “We get people who come in and order whole pans of the stuff.”

Somewhere nearby, gangs of pediatric dentists are laughing all the way to the bank.

Spicy
ACKC Cocoa Bar
2003A Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria; 703-635-7917; www.thecocoagallery.com
Average entree: Under 12 ($). Open for breakfast, Saturday, lunch and dinner daily.

Photography by Jonathan Timmes

“Hello again. Here for your chocolate fix?” the kindly attendant asks the wide-eyed young lady who has obviously darkened the ACKC doorway once or twice before.

“I am,” the unrepentant chocoholic replies.

This snazzy cocoa bar represents the consolidation of Artfully Chocolate and Kingsbury Confections, simpatico sweets merchants who joined forces and unveiled their first combination drink palace/confection depot in the District late last year.

Although the anyway-you-like-it chocolate concept has carried over well to Del Ray, co-owner Eric Nelson said they recently surmised that many of their pre-existing dessert offerings, while good, were perhaps not entirely trek-worthy. So they’re stacking the odds in their favor by rolling out additional after-dinner enticements.

“What we’ve decided is that maybe a better niche for us is in being a dessert destination,” he said of their plan to introduce more gasp-inducing treats like the new molten-lava torte, chocolate-hazelnut cakes, hot-cocoa flights and expanded ice-cream offerings (currently composed using Gifford’s chocolate and vanilla).

Meanwhile, Nelson said they’ve gone to great lengths to build their brand by cross-pollinating nearly every item they offer—be it a made-to-order beverage, homemade truffle, hand-crafted chocolate bars or frozen fare—with signature flavor combinations (cinnamon-chipotle peppers, lavender-pistachio, etc.).

You can almost taste the love.

The full-bodied Marilyn floods the senses with candied orange and cream (intoxicating). The fire-spitting Lucy delivers chipotle flashes that light up the back of your throat (building heat with every drawn breath), while the frothy, warmed chocolate coddles your inner child. Chill-seekers can succumb with a white-chocolate frappe that spins chocolate, milk and ice into a foamy stress-reliever crowned with whipped cream (sublime).

Solid indulgences include a petite but infinitely pleasurable gourmet chocolate and cheese plate, a dairy duet of milk, dark and white chocolates partnered with organoleptic curds (often acquired from neighboring Cheesetique) ranging from ripened blues to fiery jalapeno cheddars. Meanwhile, nostalgic eaters can retreat to a less hectic time by sinking their teeth—no braces, please—into bulbous candy apples shellacked in gooey caramel, milk chocolate, mini M&M’s, toffee chips, crushed nuts, sprinkles and just about any other crunchy topping you can imagine.

Homey
Silver Diner
Multiple NoVa Locations; www.silverdiner.com
Average entree: $13 to $20 ($$). Open for breakfast, lunch, dinner and late-night dining daily.

Distilling down the nation’s preferred dessert lineup was no easy task. But Silver Diner cofounder Ype Von Hengst said that’s exactly what he and his partners attempted to divine during their exploratory tour of pre-existing diners so many years ago.

They discovered that homemade apple pie, carrot cake and chocolate cake were near-universal favorites, so they brought them all together under one roof for the launch of the original Rockville, Md., Silver Diner in 1989 and haven’t looked back since.

“These are the standards that are always popular,” Von Hengst stated of his core dessert line, listing the chocolate cake as the perennial leader, then quickly adding “but it’s a close race between all of them.”
He credited original baker Martha Sanchez with producing the first pies and cakes for the local chainlet and commended her for keeping at it nearly 20 years later. “She has always been my best baker,” he said of the veteran sweets queen.

Von Hengst estimated that they sell around 400 to 500 whole apple pies and maybe 200 to 300 whole carrot cakes per month at their combined 16 locations. And while shakes and ice-cream fare tend to rule the summer months, Von Hengst noted that pie and cake sales always spike leading into the holidays.

What cause for celebration.

Their signature apple creation is easily two apples high. The thick, cinnamon-sprinkled skin battles to contain giant chunks of tart, crunchy green apples that have stopped just short of caramelizing, releasing their natural sweetness without slapping you in the face with sugar. Von Hengst described the breakdown of their monolithic pie as approximately four pounds Granny Smith apples to roughly one pound of sugar and dough (crust).

“With a nice scoop of vanilla ice cream, it’s to die for,” he said of the fruit-filled favorite.

The carrot cake yields moist spice cake loaded with chunks of real pineapple, golden raisins, chopped nuts, shredded carrot and lush cream-cheese frosting (boasting a dreamy blend of cream cheese, butter, lemon and vanilla), all drizzled with caramel sauce. No word on where exactly the fluffy carrot cake fits on the government’s updated food pyramid, but it’s an easy way to boost your fruits and veggies intake for the day.

(December 2008)