Achieving True Happiness in Retirement

Posted by The Editorial Desk / Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Area Seniors Share Tips

By Natalie Kaar

If you think that retirement from work means retiring from truly living life, think again. Recently, I had the sincere pleasure of discovering the fact that retirement can actually mean quite the opposite. How did I do this? I got it straight from nearly 20 retirees themselves, seniors ranging in age from the upper 60s to the upper 90s who reside at the following area retirement communities: Alexander Heights, a just over 2-year-old community in Fredericksburg, featuring luxury apartments for seniors aged 62 and up; Ashby Ponds, an Erickson full-service retirement community, which opened in Ashburn just last September; The Jefferson, an elegant full-service Sunrise Senior Living community located in the heart of Ballston; Potomac Place, a charming residential and assisted-living community in Woodbridge; and The Virginian, a scenic continuing-care retirement community nestled in Fairfax.

In fact, what I’ve learned is that with the blessing of good health, proper planning and some solid advice from current retirees—detailed on the following pages—retirement can be seen as an exciting new beginning, or as Betty Lindquist, a retired nurse, active volunteer and resident of The Jefferson explained, retirement can equal “the continuity of a wonderful life.”

After all, to begin with, as many seniors declared, the perks of retirement are numerous. The biggie was often described in one word: freedom, or the ability to do what you want when you want to do it. For some, like former office manager Peggy Komar of Alexander Heights, or former telephone company supervisor Wesley Hignett of Potomac Place, such freedom includes the luxury of sleeping in. And, for many, including Komar and Hignett, freedom also equals the opportunity to spend more time with family. For others, it’s also the chance to travel to places they’ve always dreamed of going; such is the case for Shirley Mackey, former social worker, and her husband John, a retired Marine, of Alexander Heights. What’s more, many others pointed to the chance to meet and share experiences with people from all different backgrounds as a prime source of pleasure.

Yet, these perks only begin to explain what keeps folks truly happy in retirement according to seniors in the know. When I asked some of these fascinating retirees—everyone from a former editorial assistant and convention planner (Kay Watson, who lives at The Jefferson with her husband Don) to a former general manager of Woodward & Lothrop and Burberry stores (Bill Sharpe, who lives at Ashby Ponds with his wife Mary) to a retired public relations executive (Charlotte Lusk of The Virginian), a former supervisor for labor standards (Leona Bogdanski of Potomac Place) and over a dozen others—to share a few key tips for achieving happiness in retirement, some of the advice they had to offer was priceless.

First, the most popular advice:
Keep busy, try lots of activities and have lots of hobbies. In other words, keep your mind and body active. Realize that you have time and use it. Potomac Place resident E.F. Covin, a former post office and insurance worker says he keeps busy bowling, fishing—and chasing girls. Meanwhile, one his neighbors, Charlotte Mulcahy, a former government worker, enjoys painting and sewing. Other seniors I spoke with, such as Lusk, spend time enjoying the wonder of the outdoors and reading good books, or, like Watson, adore stamp collecting. And, then there are those like Sharpe, the former retail GM mentioned earlier—twice retired before finally leaving the industry in 2001—who spends a lot of time in the gym. He told me he logs about 45 minutes to an hour daily in the fitness center at Ashby Ponds.

Socialize with others. Take a cue from Lindquist; the president of the gardening club and regular visitor to those with Alzheimer’s or recovering from surgery at The Jefferson also enjoys such social activities as “Manicures & Martinis” events on Mondays and Wednesday night “Meet Your Neighbor” socials. Or make like one of her neighbors, such as Glory Sabatier, a former 30-year volunteer at Arlington Hospital, who enjoys playing bingo and other games with fellow residents. Then again, you could follow the example of the Watsons, who interact with their neighbors through activities like the embroidery club and computer club, which Don started.

Socializing is undoubtedly easy at retirement communities, where group activities abound. Gayna Dunsmore lives with her husband Emmett at the new Ashby Ponds community. The former grocery clerk and current volunteer at Ronald McDonald House remarked, “We’ve met so many friends already, and we’re just getting started.”

Get as close to your family as possible. Senior after senior recommended moving close to those one loves most. However, as Dale Anderson who lives at Alexander Heights with his wife Dot advised, it’s also important to remember that it’s not all about you. He cautions: Don’t interfere with your kids’ lives too much.

Don’t wait too long to think about retirement and joining a retirement community. Join one while you can still make your own decisions and enjoy all of the fun and opportunities for socialization that a retirement community provides. Recommended just about as often as moving close to family, keeping busy and socializing, was the importance of not putting off retirement decisions for too long. After all, many of the retirees I talked with had learned from friends’ mistakes.

Give of yourself; give back to others for the life you’ve had. Take it from former ESL teacher Geraldine “Gerry” Guess of Ashby Ponds, who recalled taking a college course on the pursuit of happiness during which she discovered that research points to thinking of others/giving back as the most important factor to achieving happiness.

For additional information on the subject, Guess recommends the book “Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment,” by Martin Seligman.

Other important tips:
» Keep in mind that things will continue to change; go with the flow a bit. As for not being willing to change: “That’s not what life’s about.” –Bobby Lewis, Alexander Heights

» Save up enough money so that you will be able to do what you want when you want to do it. –The Andersons, Alexander Heights

» Realize that entering a retirement community can actually save you money and prevent you from spending all of your time taking care of chores. –Guess, Ashby Ponds

» “Accept what you’ve got and do what you can with it.” –Covin, Potomac Place

» Maintain a good attitude. –Hignett, Potomac Place

» Do your best to maintain or improve your health. “Don’t get sick.” –William Walsh, Potomac Place

» Relax and enjoy your surroundings. –Bogdanski, Potomac Place

» Have regular meals; maintain some kind of routine, some kind of predictability. –Shirley Mackey, Alexander Heights

» Accept the fact that you will live in a retirement community eventually … live by the rules, participate. –Sabatier, The Jefferson

» Find a place where you really want to live, a place that feels like home and allows you to easily meet people. –Lynn Thompson, Alexander Heights

» Nourish your faith. –Hignett, Potomac Place

» And, finally, it’s important to want to retire, versus being forced to retire. –Dale Anderson, Alexander Heights

Now, hear this…
Is your hearing keeping you in isolation? Hearing issues should not prevent you from enjoying time with your family and friends. According to Carol Hudner, an audiologist at Otolaryngology Associates, if you’re concerned about your hearing, you may want to take a quick test by answering the following questions:

» Do people seem to mumble or speak in a softer voice than they used to?

» Do you feel tired or irritable after a long conversation?

» Do you often need to turn up the volume on the TV or radio?

» Do you have trouble hearing your doorbell or telephone ring?

» Is it hard to follow a conversation when you are in a crowded restaurant?

» Do family members suggest you get your hearing tested?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you should consider a hearing evaluation. To schedule one at Otolaryngology Associates, call 703-968-9087 for the Centreville office; 703-573-7606 for the Fairfax office; and 703-834-2907 for the Reston office.

(March 2009)

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