When it comes to healthy living, what motivates you?
Are your clean-eating efforts and sweat sessions fueled simply by a desire to be an even better version of yourself? Or did it take someone else’s ego-bruising assessment to kick you into health-conscious high gear?
When Khloe Kardashian’s weight-loss transformation show Revenge Body premiered on E!, viewers were left making those very kinds of self evaluations.
The show’s premise is based on the idea that people are prompted to make lifestyle changes to spite someone that hurt them, and it’s generated a controversial buzz about whether or not it is mentally and emotionally healthy to want to change one’s appearance with the sole intention of getting a rise out of someone else.
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Keith Kaufman, who has an office in Old Town Fairfax, there are two kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation stems from wanting to do something for one’s own benefit whereas extrinsic motivation is dependent on outside influences. The motivation driving Revenge Body participants, though certainly circumstantial, seems to walk a thin line between the two.
“If you pursue a goal to try to please someone else, that goal is outside of your control because you can’t guarantee that something will be received by someone else in the way that you want it to be,” Kaufman says in regards to extrinsic motivation. “If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend doesn’t really care that you lost all this weight, what are you left with then?”
Therein lies the potential danger of Revenge Body’s premise.
“If someone doesn’t feel so great about themselves after a breakup and wants to make a statement to their ex, and that person is successful but then has a spoiled victory because their ex doesn’t care, the person may feel worse about themselves,” Kaufman says. “If this show is trying to be provocative, then it is really binding itself to those extrinsic motives.”
So, what would motivation look like in an ideal weight-loss world?
“There’s a really compelling theory in sports psychology and behavior change called self-determination theory, and the whole premise is that the more internalized something is, the better,” Kaufman says. “If you are doing something for your own reasons because it is valuable and meaningful to you, there is a powerful source of fulfillment and that’s what is going to sustain you when the going gets tough.”
However, Kaufman notes that having purely intrinsic motives isn’t easy. More often than not, everyone has some sort of extrinsic motivator.
“Someone could get broken up with and realize they have to make changes in their life, which may include getting healthy. Anger could spur that on,” Kaufman says.
Vienna psychiatrist Dr. Valerie Buyse, who works with individuals that struggle with anxiety, mood and attention disorders, substance abuse, grief and intimacy and relationship issues, agrees.
“Anger has a lot of energy in it, and you can channel that energy into a lot of positive pursuits,” Buyse says. “In sports, you can feel angry that you lose a race and feel more determined to work harder and do better next time—that’s okay.”
Essentially, what you are angry about and how long you hold on to that anger determines whether or not it can act as either a positive or negative motivator.
“The whole word ‘revenge’ implies anger, and anger eats away at people,” Buyse says. “It’s different if someone actually does you harm—like if someone throws eggs at your windshield, it’s normal to be angry about that. But to be angry at another person for a long period of time is dangerous, and for that to be a motivator for your behavior is not a good thing.”
That kind of long-term anger could have even greater consequences.
“A concern could be a depressive symptom and lead to something larger or a more radical statement being made, though this is not a definitive thing,” Kaufman says.
“The bigger risk here is chronic anger,” Buyse says. “Having that as your driving force in life is unhealthy, and many studies have been done showing a higher risk of heart disease and other physical complications like that.”
All things considered, both Kaufman and Buyse’s advice to Revenge Body participants and viewers alike is to value self-worth at every stage.
“In my work with clients, I do emphasize that we don’t want to start at some weight and say that we aren’t good enough at our weight now, but we will be good enough when we reach our target weight,” Kaufman says. “You have to realize that you are worth the investment and that you are doing this to be even better.”
Buyse echoes Kaufman’s sentiment. “Trying to have a healthy body and lead a good life is a battle with yourself, not with other people,” she says. “Love your body, have healthy goals and remember that we are all on a constant road to self-improvement.”