Meet Donna, Though You Probably Won’t Like Her

She brought me to my knees and I cursed her name multiple times. But, lady to lady, I gotta say I respect the way she made me feel, which was pretty freaking empowered.

Let me introduce you to, Donna. She is a heathen. I mean within an hour of interacting with this ferocious vixen, I was heaving on the floor, muscles a-twitching, face drenched in sweat asking myself if I ever wanted to make her acquaintance again.

Donna is the name of a workout I did last week in a new class I am taking at my gym called Alpha. It is similar in style to Crossfit, which I grew to love during my time on “The Biggest Loser.” I have been itching to feel like I used to after doing Crossfit for seven months, which is to say I felt like a beast, but in the powerful, heady sort of way. 

I assumed joining Alpha would induce that beast-like feeling again, and in some ways it did, but I realized all too quickly while doing the workouts that I am nowhere in the vicinity of beast-mode quite yet, but keeping at this will surely get me there sooner than yoga. Yoga is the balance I need to soothe and love myself. Alpha is my warrior chant. 

Here is what Donna entailed:
There were four rounds done with a partner. 

Prowler Push
(pushing a weighted sled up and down the gym, sometimes with our trainer, Bryan Sergeant sitting on top.)
Kettle Bell Swings x 15 

Push-ups x 100
(I hate to say “I can’t.” in workouts, but when Bryan mentioned I couldn’t do push-ups on my knees, but instead had to do them the right way, I mentioned I might not make it and legitimately had to fall to the floor every three push-ups or so.)
Body Weight Row x 100 
(just as bad as push-ups but in standing form and holding onto bands and pulling up.)

Bulgarian Squat Dual Dumbbell Shoulder Press x 15 
(awful, awful-ness that is sort of a lunge with one leg resting behind on a stool while holding weights overhead. I hated this most.)
Renegade Row x 15  (in a plank position while lifting weights, and naturally if my butt started to raise because my core got sore, Bryan would walk over and remind me that I am not a pup-tent and to get my butt back down, which made it sufficiently more difficult.)

Med Ball Slams x 100 
(picking up and slamming a large weighted ball, 100 times)
Sand Bell V-Ups x 100 
(this involved folding myself into a V, like a crunch, but all while holding a nice heavy sandbag. Call me crazy but this segment was my favorite, maybe it’s because I got to lay down.)


So that was Donna, which didn’t even include the warm-up that had me gasping and panting or the finale, which was passing around sandbags to my other comrades in fierceness, while maintaining a crunch position with raised legs. And the cherry on the Donna sundae—planking with, what else?, sandbags on our backs. 

Maybe one would think I finished in utter denial that I would ever put myself through such horror again, but I felt the opposite sensing a glimmer of my old warrior self somewhere deep inside me and felt positively radiant, as if I’d just performed ballet, not indeed what felt like being in the trenches. 

I had a trainer at the ranch that once said the best workout for us was the one we loved to do. This is a powerful lesson for anyone trying to find their niche in the workout world, for if running or yoga, or even push-ups don’t strike your fancy, then you won’t do it. Find whatever brings out your inner zen or your inner warrior and cultivate it. If I’ve learned anything from pushing myself these past few weeks, it’s that I won’t follow through with much if I don’t utterly love it. 
So even though Donna brought me to my knees and I cursed her name multiple times, lady to lady, I gotta say I respect the way she made me feel, which was pretty freaking empowered.